“Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are.” -Brené Brown

We all know that lying is wrong. It is easy for us to know when we are lying to our friends, but it is difficult to realize when we are lying to ourselves. Telling yourself the truth makes you vulnerable, and that’s a good thing.

Brené Brown has a very famous TEDTalk called The Power of Vulnerability. I urge you to watch it. Here’s what I get from it:

  • Vulnerability is not weakness, it takes courage
  • Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change
  • Have the courage to be imperfect
  • Connection comes from Authenticity which comes from Vulnerability

To see the truth we must have the courage to be vulnerable. Vulnerability lets us see our imperfections and accept them. We must not be afraid to be imperfect. The way to change is through imperfection, because who would change something that is perfect?

In our society we tell ourselves two lies: 1) I must be perfect 2) Everyone else is already perfect. These lies perpetuate each other. The more we lie to ourselves, the easier it is to pretend that everything is alright, and give everyone around us the impression that we are perfect. Our cycles of obesity, debt and substance dependence thrive on the lies we tell ourselves, surprising our true feelings because we think they will hurt too much.

Have you ever had a friendship where you are not honest with them to the point of being vulnerable? You act like everything is fine, because you tell yourself they don’t want to hear your problems. What was that friendship like? What was the level of connection you felt with them? Now think of a friendship you have with someone to whom you made yourself vulnerable. What was your level of connection with that person? How did it make you feel?

“In order to allow connection to happen, we have to be seen, really seen.” Brené Brown says that whole hearted people have the courage to be imperfect and to love themselves first. They are authentic in a way that allows for deep connections. And that’s what we all want, right? Deep, lasting connections. I would argue that spirituality is about forming a deep connection to yourself, having the courage to tell yourself the truth and embrace your vulnerability.

 

Next post: Anxiety

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