One of my favourite things in life is a good epiphany. This morning at work, after talking to a friend about my extensive plans for my life, I came to the realization that I don’t need to learn patience, I need to learn how to let things happen without planning them.
I really want babies. If you follow me on twitter, you know this. If you talk to me in person, you know this. If you are my boyfriend, you know more about babies and how they are born than you ever thought you would. I have always wanted kids, but it became a serious issue just over 2 years ago. I threw all of my energy into learning about babies and how they are born. It was a nice outlet for a year.
A year ago, I started working on my patience. We are going to have kids, but we are not ready yet, so I just have to wait. I’m not a patient person; once I get an idea in my head I do everything I possibly can to make it happen. Since I am in a relationship and this event affects our lives equally, I can only do so much to make it happen. So I have been working very hard on cultivating patience. I’m much better than I used to be.
This morning, I came to the realization that it isn’t patience that will help me, but letting go of PLANS. I love to plan everything. I have the next 5 years planned out. Actually. Like to the month. Everyone constantly tells me, you can’t make plans. Life never goes according to plan. And it’s easy for me to disregard this because there are so many examples of times where plans are good. So I just ignored everyone and left my plans blinders on.
This epiphany led me to understand that planning is good, but I also have to be open to letting things happen without plans. Some things are meant to be and I have to be open to that. There always has to be balance in the world. We have to plan and we have to leave things to the wind. We have to be patient, and we have to work hard to make things happen. We have to be invested and we have to let go.
This is a huge shift in attitude and I think it will help my patience. I already feel a lot more relaxed.